Why Women Struggle With Sales

Have you struggled with sales?

Me too. I H-A-T-E-D sales. It was a five-letter word to me. I’ve owned six businesses and many of them failed. I thought just having a great product or service meant people flocked to me.

Nope. Not the case.

Why was I resistant to selling my products and services?

After talking with other women in networking groups and friends, I learned that they H-A-T-E-D sales too! What was going on?

I’m a history buff so I started to research the history of women’s rights, ancient times, and even back to primitive times. What I found changed my perspective forever. Something clicked for me. It changed my view of myself as a woman and how I view sales and my impact on the word.

Now, I promise not to bore you with history but there are key areas that are vital to our story as women. We are going back in time (like Back To The Future but much further back!) Let’s jump into a time machine and go for a ride!

25,000 BC – Cave Women + Matrilineal

Let’s talk about primitive people. I’m talking 25,000 BC or earlier. The awe of the magical ability for women to produce a child made her the object of worship by men. They probably saw a woman give birth and think, “Do NOT mess with her!”

Jacquetta Hawkes, an English archaeologist and writer, “…primitive peoples did not understand biological paternity or accept a necessary connection between sexual intercourse and conception”. How the infant came into the womb was a mystery to primitive man.

Women were revered as the giver of life. Only women could produce life (aren’t we magical?). The mother would have been seen as the singular parent and lone producer of the next generation. Naturally, the children took her name or the name of the mother’s tribe or clan. This structure is called Matrilineal. They owned the titles, possessions, and territorial rights and were passed down to women in the clan.

Boom! This makes complete sense. Women made the magical humans so they run the show. Now let’s jump to 7000 BC. Everything sounds good so far.

7000 BC – Goddess Culture

Let’s go back a hot minute to 7000 BC. A Goddess culture emerged and existed 7000 BC (some argue it was closer to 25,000 BC but hang with me here) to when the last Goddess temple was destroyed in 50 BC.

According to Merlin Stone, the author of When God Was a Woman, women ran the show for thousands of years. There were a bunch of goddess but one of the major goddesses was Inanna. The Mesopotamian Goddess Inanna or Ishtar had temples where her priestesses served as oracles, communing with the Great Goddess and offering guidance to the people.

Inanna or Ishtar had a variety of names. Here are some examples (she sounded important!): Great Goddess, Queen of the Heave, Lady of the High Place, Celestial Ruler, Last of the Universe, Sovereign of the Heavens, or Lioness of the Sacred Assembly.

Women were held in a high position in family and society at this time. They were the leaders of the world at this time.

Ok, one more sparkplug Goddess. The goddess Hathor. This is a Hathor temple in Egypt:

This Egyptian Cult temple was dedicated to the Goddess Hathor dating from 380 BC. Hathor was the goddess of love, joy, and beauty.

Goddess Hathor – Wiki

In ancient times, Hathor was associated with healing. Patients who traveled there for cures were housed in special buildings where they could rest, sleep, and commune with the gods in their dreams. She was also a solar deity (note the giant sun on her head).

I could go on and on about powerful and sacred goddesses from our history but the time machine is waiting and we need to jump to the next time!

400 BC – Nomadic Warrior Priestesses

To be clear. We are not talking about Xena, Warrior Princess.

It’s time to talk about real women (sorry Xena!) who were warriors and spiritual leaders. We are jumping ahead to 4th Century BC, Dr. Jeannine Davis-Kimball, an archaeologist discovered that in many nomadic tribes cultures in Eurasia that women were more than just wives and mothers. Her findings show that a substantial number of women were buried with material objects that imply they served as warriors, priestesses, AND tribal leaders.

Priestesses were buried with mirrors, elaborate headdresses, silver bowls (which meant wealth + status), Egyptian Alabaster vases (that held hallucinogens for ceremonial events), strings of valuable beads, and seashells. Jeannine talks about one particular dig in the Russian Steppes in Secrets Of The Dead: Amazon Warrior Women (PBS Special)

Warriors were buried with arrowheads, iron daggers, and their legs were positioned a certain way (one leg up and the other leg straight). Dr. Jeannine Davis-Kimball shares multiple accounts of sites where women were found with objects implying these women were warriors AND priestesses in her book Warrior Women.

Women and men both rode on horseback (proven by the bowing in leg bones and tailbone fussing in the female skeletons) and they fought together. Women could have been just as fierce as men because it’s a more equal playing field when both opponents are on a horse.

Credit: World Nomad Games 2016 – Ash Wolf

You might be thinking, “WOW! There were some fierce, badass women in the past that were warriors and leaders with their people! But what happened?”

What happened to these fierce women?

Oh, let me tell you…

Around 2400 BC, some dudes from the north, called Indo-Europeans rode into town and they did not like the Goddess Culture. Nope. Not one bit.

In a series of aggressive invasions, they destroyed the Goddess culture and took over all territories, spiritual temples, and took complete control. They brought their own young warrior god and forced the people to obey. Merlin Stone cites“…the synthesized religion often juxtaposed the female and male deities not as equals but with the male as the dominant husband or even as her murderer”. They demonized women, their religion, and their culture. Think of the Adam and Eve story. Eve was demonized and blamed for “pain in childbearing” and the destruction of paradise. Don’t even get me started. This is where I lost my shit. (Imagine smoke billowing out of my ears).

Yikes. Men took over from here for the rest of history (sigh).

1920 – Women’s Right To Vote (kinda)

After you dry your tears, buckle up because we have work to do. Women were given the right to vote – 1920. It’s about time! Unfortunately, that law was for white women only. No women of color were allowed to vote that first year. Women of color could vote only if their individual state allowed it. Some women of color were not allowed to note until 1965! Read more…

Women were basically property of their husband (like cattle!) until less than 100 years ago! This is crazy town. Whether we like it or not, this history impacts our conscious, unconscious, and collective relationship to our beliefs and behavior. We will talk about how this affects your struggle with sales in a moment (almost there!)

Oppression of Women

For thousands of years, women have been marginalized and objectified. What is the impact of this?

Negatively affects SELF-IDENTITY + SELF-WORTH
We BUY INTO the negative messages about WHO WE ARE AS WOMEN, unconsciously
Feelings of INFERIORITY + SELF-LOATHING

Effects On Your Sales Mindset

How does it affect your sales? Here’s how:

Invalidate your experiences + not speaking up in fear of being a “drama queen” during a sales call
Overly concerned with physical appearance and feel less than as we age or show signs of aging. Thoughts like, “If I was prettier/younger/attractive then I would close this deal” Or “I didn’t get this deal because I’m ugly”, pop up.
Prioritize the needs of others above self, as if self-sacrifice process that we are a “good girl”.
We let the prospect run the sales meeting
We don’t ask for the business
Rampant people pleasing
Imposter syndrome is galore!
We don’t show up authentically out of fear of rejection

This is just a start to the list of feelings and thoughts I’ve heard through my private coaching and speaking. It breaks my heart.

What Can We Do About The Oppression Of Women?

Be a BADASS at sales
Grow wealth
Ask for what you want

And that’s just a start.

We are the change.

We can give the next generation a shot at positive self-worth and self-identity. Start believing in ourselves and other women around you. This is our chance to support each other not just for us but for all generations after us. There is now an opportunity for women with their power, wisdom, and their sacred feminine.

The SACRED FEMININE is the ancient voice that sings the song of creation.

Let us create a new generation where the feminine and masculine support each other equally. (We are more impactful together anyway!)

The time is now. A global movement of women becoming your true authentic self, growing your business, asking for what you want, wealth, connection, and true fulfillment.

I’m not saying this will be easy or quick. Real social change takes time. This is my mission. Join me.